The other night I was scrolling through the "Kids" board before going to bed. I don't have children of my own yet but life has blessed me with the opportunity of being around children often; I also like to prepare myself with helpful tips from mothers for when my time comes.
While I was scrolling on my iPad through the various pins, I came across an image that at first startled me, and then upset me. I'm not raging or extremely angry, nor am I trying to pass judgement on whoever is responsible for the post. I am simply disappointed. This is the image I came across:
Now for some this may seem harmless, but to me, it makes me sad. In today's world women are plagued with low self esteem as well as false ideals of what makes a woman "sexy" as they constantly see photoshopped women in bikinis, or even sometimes half naked. We may not realize it at the time, but those images that we see on TV or on magazine covers at the grocery store are also being seen by the eyes of your young daughter. Too many young girls grow up striving to be something that is fake, and sometimes unhealthy. But they also grow up thinking that they have to dress the way those models and celebrities dress in order to please the eyes of those around them. This is the reason this image unsettles me so much; it is because this young child is being taught at an extremely young age to dress the way the world deems appropriate, cute/sexy, and modern, when in fact it is highly inappropriate. You may not agree, but hear me out:
When I was growing up my mother would not let me leave the house unless my shoulders, chest, and knees were covered. At the time when fashion suggested otherwise, I felt like I was being cheated of some highly desired experience, and that boys would view me as unattractive and odd. I was so focused on attracting the attention of said boys, that I over looked the vitally important lesson that my mother was trying to teach me.
Later in my life, there was a time period where I found myself trying to cheat the standards. I would try to meet my mother's standards but I would push the limits and maybe wear my shorts a little higher than she would have liked, or possibly wear a shirt that was a little more revealing. I quickly learned that the attention I was receiving was not the kind I wanted, and I soon began to feel uncomfortable. Yet fashion begged me to conform to the ideals of modern society. Even now, to this day, it can be a real struggle. There are days when I try to put an outfit together and find that it would be "so much cuter" if I could wear those short shorts I saw at Forever 21, or it would be much more flattering if I didn't have to wear a jacket to cover my shoulders. I've even used climate change to try and rationalize my clothing choices. However, fashion should never dictate how I or anyone else presents themselves to the world. Fashion will continuously change, our moral values and standards should not.
The point I am trying to make, is that this poor young child, and many others, are being dressed immodestly by their mothers who at the time may not realize how harmful their actions could be. Sure it may look cute now, but when she is in her teens and walking out of the house in shorts that barely cover her backside and a shirt that exposes her chest...will it still be cute?
There is a Chinese Proverb that says "Personal example carries more weight than preaching". Parents, if you can teach your daughters by example how to dress modestly, they will always have an idea of what is appropriate, and if you do a little research, you will find that there are PLENTY of ways to dress modestly and still keep up with some of the current trends. Mothers (and fathers! You play a role in this too)...I beg you to please for the sake of your daughters (and other mothers' sons), to teach them how to respectfully dress themselves. Teach them while they are young that they have a worth that needs to be protected from those who are undeserving. Teach them that by showing respect for themselves, others will respect them even more.
My hope is that when my turn comes around to raise my own children, I will have the courage to lead by example and set the standards rather than try to avoid them.
